Confessions of a Pregnant Lady

Here we are, sitting at 38.5 weeks pregnant and the end/D-Day/our baby’s birth is in sight! I feel like now would be an appropriate time for me to do a little reflection on this pregnancy…

  • I ate a lot of sushi while pregnant. Like more times than I can count. Granted, I was not eating raw fish (I made sure the sushi I did eat was cooked) but I feel like ‘NO SUSHI’ is a pregnancy rule that I so obviously broke. As a matter of fact, girls’ sushi nights helped me maintain some sanity while with child.
  • I have eaten more pizza in the past 38.5 weeks than I have in my entire adulthood. In my first trimester, pizza was all I truly wanted in life. Shortly after I entered trimester #2 I forced myself to eat healthier but I still would enjoy pizza on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. Haters gonna hate.
  • Cheese. Since about week 20 cheese is my ‘can’t get enough of’ food. Right along there with pizza.
  • While on the subject of food– I feel like my childhood food preferences made a very strong resurgence. Hot dogs and macaroni and cheese were another big craving and a food I hadn’t eaten since I was like 9. While indulging in my cravings I did so mindfully–Annie’s Organic Mac & Cheese was my preferred mac and cheese (sometimes I would even mix broccoli in it! Don’t knock it until you try it) and when I wanted hot dogs, I would buy Hebrew National and eat it without a bun. Also as of recently–sandwiches. I have had at least one sandwich every day for the past 4-5 days, I’ve lost count.
  • When I hit 35 weeks my belly hit a point where it decided to grow exponentially. This required me to buy some long maternity tank tops which seemed totally silly with just a month left of pregnancy, but those darn tank tops have saved me. Without them, I would be walking around with either my belly hanging out or the super sexy stretchy maternity high-waisted waistband hanging out for all to see.
  • At approximately 37 weeks my body decided it would be a good time to start swelling. I made it almost NINE WHOLE MONTHS without swelling, then all of a sudden my body wants to look like the Michelin tire man. I can’t wear my wedding rings, I can barely wear my shoes (the ones I had to go up a size to thankyouverymuch) and my face is all kinds of puffy. Not cool.
  • My husband has to help me put on my shoes. I almost passed out trying to put on my shoes a couple of weeks ago (husband had already left for work) and I sent him a text telling him that he was no longer allowed to leave the house if I was not wearing shoes because I could not accomplish that task alone.
  • Coffee/caffeine has helped keep me sane for over half of this pregnancy. I couldn’t stomach coffee from about weeks 8-20, then I needed coffee to survive weeks 20-30, then I wanted nothing to do with the beverage again. I’m back to drinking coffee (decaf) about 3-4 times a week.
  • I thought I had a ‘bump’ at 30 weeks and I WAS SO WRONG! Why didn’t anyone tell me I was wrong?! Here’s a comparison–

30 weeks. I would venture to call this skinny. THIS IS NOT A BELLY.

30 weeks. I would venture to call this skinny. THIS IS NOT A BELLY.

Almost 38 weeks, now THIS is a belly.Almost 38 weeks. Now THIS is a belly.

  • Back to confessions. I’m totes getting an epidural for the birth. This is a common question and I am unashamed to admit that I will not be going ‘drug free.’ It didn’t even cross my mind. This kid is coming out of my body one way or the other and I have no desire to feel all of that stuff going on.
  • It’s going to be weird not having a giant belly after this baby is born. I can’t really fathom what it will be like or feel like to not have this thing attached to my front in a couple of weeks.
  • I haven’t loved pregnancy and I haven’t hated it either. I am blessed to have had a relatively boring, healthy pregnancy but it is BY FAR not my favorite thing in the world. Some ladies love being pregnant and while I’m sure I will miss it at some point (maybe…) I’m ready to evict this little fella.
  • I never thought I would be ‘ready’ for our baby to get here, but I’m totally ready. Mentally and physically I am ready for this little guy to be on the outside!

IMG_1316

Large, In Charge & Uncomfortable–35/36 Weeks

The title explains my feelings perfectly. I saw my doctor yesterday and I have made it to what she calls the, ‘No Smile Zone.’ While this isn’t entirely true, it’s mostly true. We have passed the 35-week mark and are into week 36 and I’m shamelessly counting down the days until we (might) get to meet our little guy. I can’t walk normally or quickly, my hips constantly hurt, I can’t breathe, can’t sleep and that’s what it is!

Let me rewind to last weekend. Friday night I had some contractions which I chalked up to being Braxton Hick’s, my body was just practicing for the real thing. They lasted a while and then subsided. Saturday was ‘Honey-Do Day’ and my husband graciously knocked out several projects around the house to help us be a little more prepared for baby. This included finishing the nursery! If we are Facebook friends, you have already seen this :)

I’m not a ‘theme’ person when it comes to home decor (especially baby stuff, themes are not my thing), but I love patterns, colors and mixing and matching. If I had to name a theme, I would go with preppy/nautical. It was originally going to be nautical themed because we had picked out a crib set with a surfing monkey on it, but when I came to my senses and realized my baby boy would never have a need for a crib comforter, dust ruffle and definitely not a crib bumper (safety hazard) we nixed that from the registry/list of ‘wants.’

You can’t tell from the photos, but the crib sheet has little white anchors on it and rugby stripes are preppy, right?

IMG_1119

IMG_1120

I got the accent wall idea from Pinterest, naturally. We got all of the furniture over the summer at Nebraska Furniture Mart, the shelf is from the one and only Home Depot. You can’t see it too well, but I got the light blue/cream chevron storage basket from Home Goods (keeping all of his blankets in there, they were taking up valuable dresser space!) and I also got the curtains from Home Goods. The curtains were a total score–I meandered into Home Goods a few weeks ago without a particular curtain style in mind and these were the only of it’s kind, tucked away behind some plain curtains. $20 for two panels, yes, please and thank you. They match the wall perfectly and I love the contrasting patterns.

I knew I wanted a gallery wall because I love gallery walls and I love variety. My SIL made the top left ‘S’more’ board for my baby shower and let us keep it, my younger sister made the navy mirror for me several years ago, the bottom left is one of my hubby and I’s engagement pictures with our hand in a heart, the ‘Dream Big’ art I found on clearance at Target, and I picked up the far right board at Nebraska Furniture Mart.

Long winded tangent about the nursery…done.

Saturday night I was having more Braxton Hick’s contractions and some bleeding which wasn’t a LOT but I made a mental note of it. It wasn’t normal for me. Sunday night I was having a lot of pain and more bleeding (TMI, sorry, this is real life folks) so my husband made me call Labor & Delivery because he could tell I was stressed and worried. The doctor on call wanted us to come in to get checked out. First trip to L&D, down! They monitored baby and I for a few hours, I got all checked out and my diagnosis was obviously symptoms of pre-term labor and…a UTI. These are pretty common for pregnant women to get but I felt silly for going in for that. However, my doctor told me yesterday that it was good that I went in because had this infection gone untreated, it could have put me into real labor.

I requested my husband take a photo to commemorate our first pregnant trip to the hospital. We were very happy to leave with our baby still in my belly.

IMG_1178

On Tuesday, I got a call telling me I tested positive for Group-B Strep. Honestly, it really bummed me out. I know that it is nothing I could have prevented, but for a day I felt like I did something wrong and was trying to think of all the things I could have done to prevent this. The answer–nothing. I’ve got it and will need antibiotics during labor and delivery. I think it hit me hard because I haven’t had anything go wrong with this pregnancy which I feel very blessed for. No first trimester complications, no gestational diabetes, no protein in my urine, so I had to blame myself for something. I cried, ate chocolate and that was that.

I’m very thankful for the weekend, upcoming holidays, my weekly doctor’s visits and becoming a family of four (including our dog) soon. I mean, look at this face…someone knows that a big change is coming our way!

IMG_1081

I hope you all have a fabulous weekend and a wonderful Thanksgiving!

FullSizeRender

The Fear Revelation

This topic has been on my mind and my heart for the past couple of weeks and it’s current status is ‘must be written or else I won’t be able to sleep.’

Long before I was ever even thinking about having a family, I knew that it was going to put me in a vulnerable spot. This may not be the same for everyone, but I knew that I was opening to door to a whole new world of ‘maybes’ even thinking about being married one day and having kids.

Many years ago I developed this irrational fear that I would have trouble getting pregnant, which we can laugh about now because that was clearly a very irrational and incorrect fear. This little boy in my belly was not planned by my husband and I, but we know that our little boy has a greater purpose than we could ever imagine.

I’m pretty sure since the day we learned I was pregnant, I had some sort of fear. I was letting these thoughts swirl around in my mind every single day. First, there was the fear of miscarriage, especially since we announced we were pregnant before the standard 12-14 week hump. Then my placenta was close to my cervix, then I would come up with more ridiculous scenarios of potentially bad things that might happen.

A couple of weeks ago I had this revelation. It was the day that I fell down the stairs and and had the gasoline pump at the gas station spray all over me. When I fell down the stairs, I cried, more so because it scared me and I was afraid that it hurt my baby (I didn’t even land on my belly, my hands and knees broke my fall). That evening, the handle of the gasoline nozzle got stuck and sprayed gasoline all over my clothes and skin. I totally lost it. I was afraid that the gasoline would absorb into my skin (it doesn’t do this) and I was afraid that the fumes I was inhaling would hurt our baby. I drove home on the highway with the windows down just to have ventilation so I wouldn’t be breathing pure gasoline.

Then, I started to pray. I felt like I had lost control of everything that day and all that I could possibly do was pray. At that moment I gave our son over to the Lord. I prayed for over half an hour on my drive, ugly tears streaming down my face because that’s all I knew I could do and that’s what would make everything better. My fear was not doing anything for me at all.

Two lessons that I have already learned as a parent–parenting takes you to an insanely vulnerable place and prayers are the best thing you can do for your kid.

Since my Fear Revelation I have had to consciously take control of other fears I have–three of my biggest fears have been going into labor, delivering our son and breastfeeding.

What’s my plan? Since my revelation, I have been bathing my fears in prayer. That’s what I know I can do. I have given my fears to God because I can’t do anything for them and they can’t do anything for me.

People often say that fear of the unknown is greater than the fear of what you are going to experience and I think I can vouch that to be true, except I’m getting rid of my fears.

The idea of labor and delivery instilled fear into me because I have no clue what to expect because I’ve never done it before. My breastfeeding fear stems from not personally knowing many women who have breastfed.

This is what I’m doing–I have prayed and am believing for a supernatural supply of breastmilk. It might sound silly, but I want our freezer stocked up with reserves. God gives us the desires of our heart. I’m believing for this and that’s it. I won’t entertain the idea of other outcomes right now. I know my desires, have spoken them and now I am waiting until the time for them to come into fruition.

As for labor and delivery, I am writing down Bible verses to read daily up until the point that I go into labor and I’m going to keep those verses with me at the hospital. Laughable to some, but that’s my birth plan. I got this inspiration from Jill Duggard-Dillard and I had a ‘duh’ moment. God has blessed my husband and I with this child so why shouldn’t we lean on Him to help us through the most physically difficult part to receiving our blessing?

When I feel like something will be too much to bear, I remind myself that two and a half years ago I ran my fastest marathon just 18 days after having my gallbladder removed. Doctors told me it probably wouldn’t be in my best interest to run. I got crazy looks and comments, but with God, I can do absolutely anything that I set my mind and my heart to and come out on top a victor. 

IMG_1979

33 Weeks

This post is going to be really long because I haven’t written in three weeks and to be frank, I have a lot to say! You have been warned!

I’m not entirely sure where to start, so I’ll begin with the bad and progress to the good. Okay? K. At the beginning of October I was experiencing some pain in my groin area that didn’t feel normal to me. Walking hurt, sitting hurt, pretty much everything I did put my in nearly unbearable pain. I saw my doctor and was diagnosed with PSD which is pubic symphysis dysfunction. The way my doctor explained it, my pubic bone is separating a little more than what is normal plus with the added pressure of the baby (I’m carrying very low) that is what is causing my pain. Unfortunately, she told me that there isn’t much I can do about it now except ice and Tylenol. In order to avoid this happening in future pregnancies, she is recommending me to a physical therapist after I give birth and working on strengthening my hip/glute muscles.

I still have pain on a regular basis but I have learned to manage it. I ice myself (between the legs…yeah, whatever. I used to sit in ice baths after 20 mile runs) and take two Tylenol at night and ice during the day if I’m in extra pain. All I have to say about that is…dealing with it! I’m pretty over it. My ungraceful nightly routine of getting into bed at least provides some free entertainment for my husband. I’ve learned to laugh about it because that’s the best I can do right now.

The next and last bad thing (that I can even remember) was this whole last week. In two words: hott mess. I managed to slice my thumb open while opening a can of pumpkin puree, I fell down the stairs at our house landing on my hands and knees…then I cried. Then later that same day while I was getting gas, the handle got stuck and sprayed gasoline all over me (arms, clothes, jeans, boots). When I got back in my car, I totally lost it. I ugly cried for 30 minutes driving home from work. With the windows down because I was afraid of inhaling the fumes from the gasoline and the smell was making me sick to my stomach.

My bad is nowhere near as bad as other people’s bad and I have to remind myself of that and get along with things. Wipe my tears, brush off my knees and be thankful that each day is a new one.

Onto happier pregnant things, shall we?

Looking kind of pregnant these days!

IMG_0863

Last weekend my aunt, mom and a close friend hosted a very fun baby shower with a theme of, ‘About to Pop!’ It was so fun and such a good time. So much fun that I only managed to snag three photos the whole time :) you know it’s a good party with great company when you don’t have time to take pictures.

IMG_0818

IMG_0819

IMG_0820

My husband and I are very blessed to have so many amazing people supporting us as we are well on our way to becoming parents. With less than 7 weeks left to be prepared for baby boy’s arrival, it has put a little fire under us/me to get things ready for him. We have been putting the final touches on the nursery and making last purchases that we need to get us started with a baby.

On a non-baby related topic, my husband and I do Big Brothers and Big Sisters and today we took our little to a local dairy farm, Shatto! If you are in the Kansas City area and don’t buy their products, you should. Also, if you haven’t been on this tour, I absolutely recommend it! Plus we got to sample all of their yummy milks at the end. Cotton candy and strawberry were my faves of the day. I also got to milk a cow and we got to see how they milk 12 cows at a time…so cool!

IMG_0926 IMG_0931 IMG_0933 IMG_0935 IMG_0934

That about wraps it up! Hopefully I will remember to post again at least once before the baby comes and also hopefully will only have good things to report over the next 6-7 weeks :)